A sister says

This post of mine is dedicated to my brother…he’s been selected for IIT and would be commencing B Tech in electrical engineering from IIT Roorkee. After reading it some may feel as a hyperbole, an overreaction…..but for me it’s just the expression of my feelings. I just tried to provide words to my thoughts…. A sincere and honest effort to bring out my feelings for my brother.

21 July 1991….a fine Sunday morning .I vividly remember the day when this day my parents gifted me the most beautiful and animated toy. I was my dear ‘bhai’. Though I was too young to realize this….but still I had someone to play with, to fight with and to appease. I suddenly became the ‘elder sister’ of someone. From that day onwards I did care to demand a gift for him too from anyone who had something just for me.

As and when time went by he started penetrating more into my heart, my life and my thoughts. Regardless of the friends I had, I considered him as the ‘best one’……wanted to share every petty thing with him. But as our studies got onerous we hardly had time to talk to each other. And when he started his big chase of IIT I felt it my responsibility to spare him most of his time and keep him away from my anecdotes. But I missed having a real ‘secret sharer’ whom I can rely on. Thanks to God he provided me at the apt time.Neverthless none of them could take his place. I started sharing myself with them but most of the time the topic of our talks was him. My friends vicariously, along with me, enjoyed his success and achievements. I can’t imagine how much I seemed to be boring to them and how much they would have been sick of listening of him always (of course I too listened to them!!!!!) .Bravery award to them for tolerating my monotonous talks.

I very clearly and confidently aver (though he may disagree) that in his life Papa, Mummy and Shikhar (his best friend) supersede me but in my life no one does that. He was…..and will be at the acme. He mean to me more than Mummy Papa……more than my best friends…….in fact more than anybody in this damn world.

And now when he has achieved what he had aspired for he has to leave us. And as the days of leaving us is nearing……it is becoming harder for me to fight my tears…..Almost every night I cry in the dark……trying to conciliate myself. I am feeling as if my soul’s gonna leave my skeleton. Somebody with whom I had been sharing my room for last 18 years, whose expert comments I was inured of listening and whose instructions I was bound to follow is suddenly going to isolate me over here. Believe me I feel nauseated.

But that’s life. I know I have to adjust……have to synchronize myself with the circumstances… Everybody has to, when their dear ones depart. However I think it would take much longer time for me to do this.

This year on Rakshabandhan it would be the first time I would not be with him to tie my rakhi in his wrist. The routine of 17 years will be distorted. But my good wishes and my love would always be with him…..everlasting…….forever.

I thank God for giving me a brother whom I can feel proud of.

I wish he succeeds in all his endeavors

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